My mind is to filled with thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in my own mind. I can never fully express myself in words. So I put them into photographs, into my dance finally a way for me to express myself.
I've never been the best at anything. I always feel a little behind, when it comes to dance. There's so many other girls who are so much better than I am. They have a better turnout, their pointe shoes have a perfect arch, they have perfect bodies. While here I am with my long hawk arms and skinny and gangly torso. No, I'm not trying to make this sound like a depressing blog note, but still. Nobody in life is perfect right? Cue the Hannah Montana "Nobody's perfect" song. One thing that I do feel so comfortable with is my releationships, weather it be with friends, family, or my boyfriend. I feel like I am I nice person, well I try my hardest to be. This year has been a major turning point in my life, I've figured out who I can trust, and who I can't. I've lost friends, made friends. I finally found the real me. I've incorporated myself into new things, I've been stressed out. But in the midst of all that, I've been utterly happy. Everyday I've woken up with a smile on my face, a reason to be grateful for the day ahead.
Last year was hard, I transferred schools and had to make many new friends. It wasn't hard, but I still missed everyone I had known for 9 years. I sometimes still do, I wonder what my life had really been like if I had stayed at LaSalle. Would I be happy? Who would I be best friends with? Where would I be in my life?
But then it strikes me that If I hadn't left LaSalle and gone to Ike, how would I have met the love of my life? Who would of he been with right now? His ex? Someone new?
So many questions flow through my head when I can't sleep at night and I consider the impossibles. I'm so happy with the choices I've finally made in my life, I've grown up as a person and I know what I want to do with my life.
My dream is to go to Allied Arts in Seattle for college, I want to get my degree in Commercial Photography and eventually own my very own studio in Seattle. I want to move out Senior summer, and move in with my boyfriend. Just a small little apartment about the towering buildings in downtown Seattle. That's honestly all I want in my life. To be happy.
God, I keep rambling on. This is what I get for having a sinus infection and not being able to fall asleep.
Anyways, this is just tonight's thoughts.
-Love,
Hannah Marie Ditter
(:
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